Confession, I'm a "Charlotte"......and I've finally realized, that's okay.
Is There Such a Thing, as Being Too Nice?
Warning Readers....
My heart is feeling heavy today with a mix of emotion.
I have no idea where this blog will start nor end, or if it will have any sort of theme, meaning...it may just be a big mix of mess, but I feel the need to shrug off some heaviness my shoulders seem to be carrying.
For as long as I can remember, dating back to Junior High School, I've always heard people say "She's just so nice" when referring to me. When it came to elections, or royalty nominees my name was always on the ballot ~ it seems as though being the "nice" girl made me more popular.
It wasn't until college, when I learned that "being nice" wasn't always a good thing. I'll never forget the time, I was probably about 22 years old, going to college, and working at the lovely (insert sarcasm) "Joes Crab Shack", when I desired to move up from sever to bartender. I was speaking to one of my managers at the time ~Scott, about giving me this opportunity. I was a bit shocked when he looked right at me and said " Jennifer Norris, there's no way in hell you could ever be a bartender".... I looked at him with a shocked expression and said "Why"...and he simply responded,
because you're too nice.
That was the first time I can remember being shot down due to my so called "niceness".
As I grew into my professional career I started to realize that "being nice" didn't always equal being respected. Over the course of my first five years in the "real" career world, I encountered two different experiences with two different co-workers...where they were just down right mean and hurtful. Acting so nice and kind to my face and then mocking and complaining to others about me when I was wasn't around.
I was crushed, I didn't understand why someone(s) didn't
like me? I didn't understand why these individuals would put
so much effort in trying me to make me look incapable of my job to high ups and fellow co-workers. I would tell my friends and family and they would look at me stunned and say
"why in the world do you care, and why are you wasting your time thinking about these people".
You see, being the "nice girl" is only one of my strengths/weaknesses.... I also wear my heart on sleeve for the world to see, and I'm always the first to point out any mistake I've ever made, and I'm the first to say "I'm sorry", a million times. Which makes me a
great target for mean hearted and opportunistic type of people.
All in all, I guess what I'm trying to say is that the old saying is true "One's greatest strengths are one's greatest weaknesses"....
And as I've gone through the past six months of starting a new job and starting my personal company, I've finally realized that I'm learning how to balance my strengths and weaknesses a little better. Maybe it just comes with age and life experiences....
A few lessons I've learned that I always want to remember:
1.) Trust that gut feeling!
Times when I haven't trusted that gut feeling have put me in difficult situations with not so nice people
2.) It's okay to be honest
Not that I was a liar before, but there have certainly been times when I've agreed or gone along with something just because I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings.
3.) Speak Up
Again the "nice girl" in me has held back before, in an effort to win the popularity contest, but that just can't happen when in comes to my business, my brand, and my vision
4.) Be the Bigger Person
It's a fine balance, but especially in the event design industry...there can be a lot of pettiness, judgment, and opinions...and sometimes the wrong people move ahead more quickly in life, but I truly believe that the truly geuine people sleep a whole lot better at night and certainly have happier and more fulfilling lives.
5.) Lead By Example
It's so true, people can see true colors, and people are affected greatly by positive energy. To be a true leader you have to allow your strength and weaknesses to show from time to time, and be "okay" and proud of who you are.
6.) Jealousy is Ugly
Don't measure your success by sizing yourself up to others ~ It's a complete waste of time. Everyone comes from a different place with a different pathway... learn from others, share, grow, and continue to do things daily to better yourself and your business.
7.)
It's Okay for People Not to Like You
I still struggle with this one, but I'm getting better. It's their loss not yours, don't dwell on this, just keep loving on those that
do like you :)
Okay, enough of my ramblings... on another note, I love how many of my friends are now "blogging"...isn't it just such a freeing experience???
Hugs and Kisses from the "Nice Girl"
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